Old Habits Die Hard

I think I'm on a plateau right now. You know how when you're on a diet you lose some of the weight pretty quickly and you're so excited, but then you reach a point where it's going to take some extra work to get over the hump? I think I'm there with my flylady experience.

I'm still flying -- don't get me wrong. My sink is still shiny, my bathrooms are always clean, our home is still being "blessed" every Monday morning, and all the areas I've worked on are still in great shape.

It's those areas that haven't been worked on that are just sitting there staring me in the face.

And those old voices are creeping back in. "You're such a failure." "If you can't do it right, don't do it at all." Uuugghh!

I know I just need to set the timer and tackle it a little bit at a time. I KNOW that, so why don't I just DO it?

Last week I had an upper endoscopy and had to have a stricture in my esophagus dilated. It wasn't a huge deal, but it was just enough to make me feel not-so-great for a couple of days. Well, in those couple of days my routines sort of slipped. I learned that I have to stay on top of things or I'll slip right back into the old habits. Those routines are so important!

Okay, so I'm making a deal with Toni (my inner brat). We have to go to the grocery store today or we'll be facing hungry stares from the boys. Afterward we'll spend 15 minutes downstairs decluttering a tiny space in the office. If we get that done, then we'll do something fun . . . maybe we'll go outside and play in the dirt (weed the flower beds) for 15 minutes. But there's one condition -- no whining!

Wish me luck!

Naming the little brat

I'm trying to settle on a name for my inner brat. Oh she's in there, and she's fighting me every step of the way as I try to reclaim control of my house and my life.

I've been trying to figure out why on earth I keep putting off digging into this office and getting it straightened up. I had started clearing out the remnants of my direct sales business a few months ago (before I even knew about Flylady), but progress has screeched to a halt. WHY?

I've come to two conclusions:

1. Every time I start going through the things from my old business, I start feeling down and a little disappointed with myself. I guess I feel like a failure. I was a direct sales consultant for seven years, and I was good at it. But I had started feeling like my time with the company was coming to an end because my kids were getting older and my shows were keeping me from being with them in the evenings and on the weekends. But then we ran into some rocky roads and I mentally shut down for a while, and that included neglecting what was left of my fledgling business. If I had made the decision to leave and had walked away on my own in a healthy way, I would have felt better about it. But I ended up watching it die a slow, painful death. So going through my old things brings back a lot of feelings I don't want to deal with.

2. My office is my inner child's playground. She wants to come in here and play and act like she's helping me work (I have an online store that I operate from my office), but she doesn't want to accept any of the responsibility. She's terrible about leaving things out where they don't belong, and she whines, complains and just about throws a tantrum if I even think about doing any kind of paperwork. If she doesn't know where something goes, she just leaves it out. And she loves piles!

So do I need some therapy before I can tackle my office? Nah. Now that I've started to identify what's keeping me from doing what needs to be done, I think I can start to chip away at it 15 minutes at a time.

I definitely need to name this little brat that is trying so hard to get my attention and keep me from regaining control. I'm thinking her name might be Toni, after a girl I went to elementary school with. Toni got everything she wanted, and if she didn't, LOOK OUT! Yeah, I think my inner brat just might be a Toni. Whew.

On a more positive note, the upper two levels of my house are coming under control very nicely. The bathrooms are getting swished and swiped daily, and we're at the point where a weekly deep cleaning isn't even necessary. They're always company-ready. My control journal is all set up and helping me to stay on track with morning and evening routines. The only one I'm struggling with is doing 15 minutes of decluttering every day. I've decluttered all the major areas that needed it except for the dreaded office. I guess I should find some smaller projects to warm up with and then start baby stepping through the office.

We're enjoying dinner as a family around our dinner table every evening. We've pretty much eliminated eating out; no one wants to skip the yummy meals I'm preparing from my weekly menu mailers. I'm discovering that I do enjoy cooking; it was the planning I dreaded. I don't mind grocery shopping now that my fridge and pantry are neat and organized. Cooking is actually pretty fun now because I know the guys will like what I'm preparing. My older son has a friend who has been spending a lot of time at our house this summer. The other day he confided to me that his family doesn't eat many meals at home because of busy work schedules. I'm pretty strict about having dinner together as a family unless it is totally unavoidable, and I think that is why he enjoys being here with us so much. Our family sits around the table at dinner and we talk about our day, we laugh, we joke, and that's just our time to connect. I think it's the most important time of the day.

Enough of that. Tonight is supposed to be "date night," but my poor exhausted hubby is upstairs asleep on the couch. He's the general manager of a hotel, and right now he's working seven days a week. I know it will become smoother; this is just one of those busy times. But I'll be so glad when he can have some time off to rest, relax and carry on a conversation after 8:00 PM. :)

Have a great day!

How Can I Bless this House with Bodies Everywhere??

Okay, here's my dilemma today. Both sons had friends over this weekend. Four boys between the ages of 11 and 17 . . . you know what that does to a house. I stayed on top of things and had them throw away their trash and put their dirty glasses and dishes in the dishwasher. But here's what I found this morning.

1. The upper level -- two bodies in the younger son's room. I'm sure there's a popcorn bowl in there somewhere along with glasses -- you have to have snacks when watching a movie, right? I didn't want to wake them just yet, so I took the sheets off of my bed to go into the washer. I can start my "home blessing hour" downstairs and work my way up.

2. The middle level -- two MORE bodies, one on each couch in the living room. Popcorn bowls and glasses on the kitchen counter. Didn't want to wake them either, so we'll have to get the middle level a little later. So with sheets in hand I headed to . . . .

3. The basement -- guitars and amps all over the floor, a blanket on the couch, cords for the game systems in the floor. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Can't clean there either because I refuse to pick up after them. So what can I do? Throw the sheets in the washer (they're ready to go into the dryer now), check email and pout. Drink another cup of coffee and plot. Get my fanny upstairs and take a shower (even though I'll have to take another one after the cleaning is finished -- so why bother now??).

I've given them ample time to get their beauty rest, so now it's time to make my way back up the stairs and start making some noise.

By the way, when my kids have sleepovers, we're not talking about one nighters. Our house is the roach motel for kids -- kids come in but they don't come out. We keep them for 3 or 4 days or more at a time. We don't mind it at all; in fact I love it because I know where my kids are and what they're doing. But unconscious bodies at 9:30 Monday morning . . . nope, time to breathe some life into them and get them out of my way.

The FLY in Flylady means "finally loving yourself." If those little moochers don't get out of my way and let me bless this house, it's going to mean "fat lady yelling." HA!

Okay, time to get down to business. I hear movement upstairs. Time to lace up the shoes and whip this house back into shape. Later!